[ Karkat appreciates that the human's taking this seriously. Nice change of pace. Right up until the moment he says "concubine piss" and his reasonable, calm (for a troll like him), expositional demeanor crumples into a grimace of offended frustration. ]
[ His hands reach up to seize entire fistfuls of his wiry, dark hair, then drag down his face as he laments: ]
I said CONCUPISCENT, AS IN MATING AFFECTION! [ Wow, he gets loud really fast! ]
I'M IMPRESSED YOU CAN CRAWL OUT OF YOUR COCOON EACH DAY- OH! SORRY, YOUR CUSHIONED PLATFORM YOU CALL A BED! MY BAD.- AND MANAGE TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY WITHOUT SUCCUMBING TO THE MISFORTUNE THAT RIGHTFULLY SHOULD BEFALL ALL DROOLING IDIOTS. BUT DOESN'T, BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE WANTS TO SPITE THE REST OF US!
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A ROMANCE STORY FEATURING A CONCUBINE PEEING?!
[ Karkat doesn't wait for a reply. ]
NO. DON'T ANSWER THAT. I'M PRETTY SURE IT EXISTS ON GRUBTUBE.
HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND
[ His hands reach up to seize entire fistfuls of his wiry, dark hair, then drag down his face as he laments: ]
I said CONCUPISCENT, AS IN MATING AFFECTION! [ Wow, he gets loud really fast! ]
I'M IMPRESSED YOU CAN CRAWL OUT OF YOUR COCOON EACH DAY- OH! SORRY, YOUR CUSHIONED PLATFORM YOU CALL A BED! MY BAD.- AND MANAGE TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY WITHOUT SUCCUMBING TO THE MISFORTUNE THAT RIGHTFULLY SHOULD BEFALL ALL DROOLING IDIOTS. BUT DOESN'T, BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE WANTS TO SPITE THE REST OF US!
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A ROMANCE STORY FEATURING A CONCUBINE PEEING?!
[ Karkat doesn't wait for a reply. ]
NO. DON'T ANSWER THAT. I'M PRETTY SURE IT EXISTS ON GRUBTUBE.