[ Hindsight is a bitch, he thinks, but without any real ferocity. Because Arthur knows himself. Knows who he is and what he likes. What he considers a challenge and what holds his attention.
He'd do it all over again.
Every day spent in the military had given him a leg up, bits of information coalescing to form a strong foundation, a firm backbone once he'd dipped out of the legal and into the criminal. In the beginning, he hadn't been able to find anyone who could build as neatly as he did, not unless they were other ex-military. Later, his uncanny instincts and attention to detail made him popular– it's a well known rumor that he's considered the best point dreamshare has to offer.
(Sometimes, he misses building. But after Dom, after Mal's shade started navigating the mazes he built with more ease, he couldn't keep up).
Rogue's touch startles him a bit. He freezes at the brush of fingers, staring at the point of contact with serious eyes. Slowly, he shifts his gaze up, not expecting the sympathy he sees there. Swallowing it all down, he takes a drink from his glass, liquor burning all the way down. ]
It's in the past. [ Where it'll stay, not because he's heartless. But because he'll be swallowed by grief, otherwise. Learning how to compartmentalize had been the most useful skill he picked up in the military. ]
For this, it's less about the training and more just. If someone loses themselves, how do you convince them of anything else? Our minds are fragile but stubborn. Once sure of a truth, people put their roots down. Only a thought that seems self-generated could make them unearth themselves.
[ He replays all the times with Mal, all the weeks he watched her grow further and further away and–
no, he's not going down this path, it's been tread over too much. ]
no subject
He'd do it all over again.
Every day spent in the military had given him a leg up, bits of information coalescing to form a strong foundation, a firm backbone once he'd dipped out of the legal and into the criminal. In the beginning, he hadn't been able to find anyone who could build as neatly as he did, not unless they were other ex-military. Later, his uncanny instincts and attention to detail made him popular– it's a well known rumor that he's considered the best point dreamshare has to offer.
(Sometimes, he misses building. But after Dom, after Mal's shade started navigating the mazes he built with more ease, he couldn't keep up).
Rogue's touch startles him a bit. He freezes at the brush of fingers, staring at the point of contact with serious eyes. Slowly, he shifts his gaze up, not expecting the sympathy he sees there. Swallowing it all down, he takes a drink from his glass, liquor burning all the way down. ]
It's in the past. [ Where it'll stay, not because he's heartless. But because he'll be swallowed by grief, otherwise. Learning how to compartmentalize had been the most useful skill he picked up in the military. ]
For this, it's less about the training and more just. If someone loses themselves, how do you convince them of anything else? Our minds are fragile but stubborn. Once sure of a truth, people put their roots down. Only a thought that seems self-generated could make them unearth themselves.
[ He replays all the times with Mal, all the weeks he watched her grow further and further away and–
no, he's not going down this path, it's been tread over too much. ]