TEST DRIVE MEME #2

[zhautasmods]

Awakening

Artificial lights assault your eyes. It takes a few blinks for them to adjust properly. Quiet mechanical whirs and clicks sound in the small, sparse space that you had likely been corralled into before being put to sleep for the long journey. As grogginess fades away and lucidity starts to take hold, you begin to remember where you are and why you’re here on this spaceship thousands of light years away from home and perhaps everything and everyone you’ve ever known.

The multiverse is sick. It’s dying. And it’s up to you to save it. Or, at least, that’s what the Zenith Corporation had told you when they announced their search for a cure across the multiverse. They hand-picked individuals to be "volunteers" for the next stage of experimentation. Maybe they made it sound dire, maybe you already had your mind set to help, or maybe the specifics of how you could help was vague. Considering the alternative was wasting away on your home planet with no promise of when this cure might actually come to fruition, it ultimately wasn’t much of a choice either way.

Everything comes to life the more awake that you start to feel. "Good morning, volunteer," sounds a synthetic, feminine voice in your ear. That must be one of the fancy features they advertised about the chip that was injected just beneath your skin. A projected HUD above your torso displays and scrolls through several readings about the state of your being. "A scan of your vital signs show that everything is functioning as normal." There’s a small pause. "Wait-" The spike of alarm that should follow that single, distressed-sounding word is accompanied by a light chime. "Emotional responses are still accurate, too. Thank you for your cooperation!" Without any further explanation or allowing for protest, she continues on. "I hope you enjoyed your nap! We’ll be descending to planet #05031941 - common name designated as Zhautas - in approximately three hours. There will be a brief orientation for all volunteers exactly one hour before landing. Due to potential unnatural stress levels upon awakening from stasis, I suggest a relaxing trip to the garden beforehand."

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
My name is R.O.S.I.E. and, on behalf of all of us at the Zenith Corporation, we’re happy to have you aboard.

Code Credit

Say Aloe (Prospective Players Only)

Red lights lead the way to the gym, green will be your path to the gardens, ostignuh is- Wait, what do you mean the color ostignuh is burning your eyes? Huh. They must have over-corrected for your species. Oh, well. They’ll fix that for the next trip. For now, don’t worry about it. It probably didn’t lead to anything important anyway!

1. The staff is much more attentive this time than they were with the first wave of volunteers. Poor feedback and the threat of losing their jobs if they don't improve their standing will do that! Unfortunately, it isn't just the colors that have been over-corrected. Despite how many times you tell the very helpful staff member that you're fine, they won't leave you alone. Are you sure? They can walk with you if you'd like. They can even hold your hand if you're overwhelmed! If there's anything you need, they're here for you.
   
   Maybe if you find a buddy to walk you to your destination they might divert their attention to a different volunteer. The buddy system is pretty fool-proof, after all.


2. As you draw closer to the gardens, the lights in the hallway begin to dim. In fact, the only available source of illumination for a small distance is the thin green line across the floor guiding your way. Careful not to trip! There's handy railing to hold onto or maybe you accidentally grab the arm of that (hopefully) cute person nearby. It's kind of hard to tell and green isn't really a flattering color anyway.
   
   Suddenly, you're stepping into a wide open space of twilight. Iridescent flowers dot the landscape for as far as the eye can see. They come in all different shapes, sizes, and glow softly in this simulated night-scape. Trees of shining magenta leaves and blue bark wind up to the stars. Or, at least, the viewing panels that allow the stars to be seen from inside the ship. Not to worry, it's entirely safe and beautiful!
   
   The featured flower of this month is the Nykt Blossom. Be warned, however, that inhaling its pollen causes increased levels of oxytocin. This will cause you to feel compelled to bond socially with others. That is, you might find yourself a lot more friendly than usual! Maybe a little too friendly, even, if you're especially susceptible to its effects.


3. It's very easy to miss the warning signs in this dark as you step into the section of the garden that houses the more alien plant-life.
   
   They'll fix that for the future, of course, but for now many volunteers are likely finding themselves subject to the same unfortunate circumstances. Coitendrils are in abundance here; they're a pretty touchy feely species. It's a plant that thrives in warm conditions and grows at an incredibly fast rate to seek out these cozy spots. As it turns out, your body warmth is the highest temperature around and exactly what it's looking for.
   
   Before you know it, long green tendrils are suddenly growing around your arms or legs in speedy spirals. They get everywhere in a matter of mere seconds. Their growth is aggressive, finding ways beneath the fabric of whatever clothes you happen to be wearing and to the skin below. The only way to reverse their growing hold is to cool yourself off and fast. Maybe someone can grab you some ice?

Orientation (Prospective Players Only)

Around an hour before landing, an announcement is made to everyone aboard the ship. It’s time to find your way to the amphitheater for orientation. If anyone gripes, they are reminded that it has mandatory safety information that the Zenith Corporation is legally required to cover. In fact, there's even a quiz at the end to make sure you understand all the technical ins and outs! The Zenith Corporation only has your best interests at heart. They also can’t afford another lawsuit or PR nightmare but who can, really? It’s only a half an hour long and R.O.S.I.E. reassures everyone that it will go by faster than they think.

1. Are you way too cool for school? If you try to play hookey, the crew members of the spaceship are already on guard. You're not the first one to try this and they doubt you'll be the last. Try as you might to super sleuth your way around, there’ll be someone at apparently every single turn and twist you try.
   
   It’s also very likely that in scrambling to find a place to hide you’ll run into someone else breaking the rules! Perhaps great minds think alike and you decide to try to defy the system together. Or maybe they’re totally just getting in your way and you decide instead to throw them to the wolves to give yourself a better chance at escaping certain boredom that is an informational seminar. The choice is yours, volunteer!


2. Whether you come to the orientation willingly or are dragged in by one of the staff, you’ll quickly realize just how bad R.O.S.I.E. lied. A half an hour feels almost like ten hours instead. The last time you checked your watch, it was somehow later than when you check it now. Is time going backward? It sure seems like it the longer you listen to the monotone voice read over colored flavor text clearly meant to engage but missing its mark stupendously. Even the motivation of a quiz at the end that needs to be passed in order to disembark seems to do little to nothing for your dwindling attention span.
   
   Finally, there’s a break in the bureaucratic monotony. The faceless, droning voice introduces one of the staff currently on Zhautas, Jeneviere. He's assistant to the head scientist, Professor Quintalian, and freshly assigned overseer of new volunteers. He also looks like he absolutely doesn't want to be the one doing this seminar.
   
   "Come now, Jenny," says a masculine voice off screen. "You promised."
   "I know what I said," he snaps, glaring off camera and not seeming to care much for the fact this is a live feed nor that these new volunteers are expecting something a bit more professional.
   "Then what's the problem?" the voice asks again. As it does, a tentacle wiggles into view and gives a reassuring pat on the deerman's shoulder. "I know for a fact that you like being filmed, Jenny, so really this shouldn't be so daunting-"
   
   As he speaks, Jeneviere's cheeks suddenly burn red hot. He stands forcefully out of his chair and uses one of those hoofs to kick harshly at the source of the tentacles. There's a very undignified squawk at the attack before the video feed cuts out and a technical difficulties sign is displayed.
   
   "... Right," the narrator from before says to break the undeniably awkward silence. "Just give us a moment, volunteers, and we'll get a pre-recorded seminar ready for you instead. In the meantime, let's open up communications with the facility and allow you to discuss with those already on the planet about what they've enjoyed most about their time on Zhautas so far?*
   
   
3. Hopefully, you didn't forget about the quiz! The staff certainly didn't. After the pre-recorded seminar is run, papers are handed out. A quiet shuffle carries through the room as people pass them to and fro down the aisles. It all seems rather arbitrary and tedious but remember! You have to pass in order to disembark.
   
   It isn't too hard. Or maybe it is. Perhaps it's just the pressure that you only have fifteen minutes to complete it. What was the professor's first name again? How many research facilities are there on the planet? Staff are scrutinizing your every move now, it feels like. Do you take the risk and try to whisper for help to the person next to you? Pass notes? Do what you must to succeed! ...Or you can just shamefully take the quiz again and again and again until they're legally obligated to let you off board.

Welcome to Zhautas! (All Players)

Finally, it's time to disembark at the research facility. This time they have the right coordinates so it's as easy as stepping off the ship and to your new home away from home. Or, at least, it should have been that easy...

There's an awful lot of construction going on around here. Several beings with hard hats, power tools, and ridiculous amounts of glue are rushing about. They're shouting orders and saying "excuse me" where they remember to. Still, it can be hard to get a word in edgewise about the fact that you're new volunteers here to check-in. In addition to the construction, there's also an awful lot of important-seeming people walking throughout the facility as well that staff are far more attentive to than you.

In short, it's borderline chaos as you try to get your bearings.

1. "Bad news, new volunteers," says R.O.S.I.E. in the midst of all the commotion. "We have your housing assignments but there have been some... technical difficulties in preparing the new rooms." There's actually been a lot of technical difficulties, period. Maybe you've already noticed with the lights randomly changing color or dimness, the vending machine that launched your drink at you, or R.O.S.I.E. herself glitching out periodically when responding. The problem with the rooms is that the doors won't open. Or they won't stay closed. Or that they open and close constantly and forcefully so it's a safety hazard. As if everything else going on with all the construction isn't.
   
   "We're working on it as fast as we can, but for now, we've set up a temporary sleeping situation until its resolved." Everyone will be directed to one of the larger common rooms in the east wing of the facility while the rest of the volunteers are still awaiting their new housing as promised. Mattresses are laid out in rows on the floor. There's plenty of blankets, pillows, and even some LED lights strung around the room to provide some nice ambience.
   
   Additionally, there's a screen covering one of the walls for a movie to be projected on before bed. R.O.S.I.E. has chosen a thematically appropriate film that was approved by Professor Quintalian himself. Snacks are provided too! It's an old-fashioned sleepover, volunteers. Make a blanket fort, enjoy what's on for your viewing pleasure, and have - most of all - have fun.


2. What's a sleepover without scary stories? Flashlights have been provided and it's time to get spooky. Here's your chance to share that real thriller that you know from back home. Maybe another world has a similar tale! Either way, there's nothing like bonding over a little healthy fear. Right?
   
   Or maybe terrifying strangers isn't your idea of a good time and you'd rather make shadow puppets instead. That's also an option! In fact, some people are trying to start a contest out of it to see who can cast the most creative shadows around.


3. The night staff comes around for one last security sweep. Get some sleep, they say. It's been a long day. Tomorrow might be even longer if they still can't figure out the rooms or where to put all these new volunteers for the time being.
   
   As nice as that sounds, it's a little easier said than done. Whether it's the construction noise, the person next to you snoring, or late night existential thoughts it's difficult for sleep to find you. Maybe talking to someone might help? Or maybe you just need to go to the bathroom. Good luck crossing the swath of bodies, in the case of the latter, and who knows! You might find someone else having as much trouble sleeping as you that you can commiserate with.
   
   Or maybe you're the one snoring. Do you happen to kick in your sleep? How unfortunate for the person assigned to the mat next to you. They might be courteous or they might tell you just how obnoxious it is. Whatever the case might actually be, you're likely in for a long first night here at the research facility.

Network/Bangr (All Players)

During all the goings-on, R.O.S.I.E. will prompt you to set up your presence on the network. Pick a username, a profile picture, and commence to shitposting immediately if you so desire! Additionally, if you want to get a headstart on your contribution to the volunteer program, why not set up your Bangr? R.O.S.I.E. even has an icebreaker question ready for you! They change every month. This month's question is:

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?*
(*Despite what you might actually put, know that R.O.S.I.E. is a little glitchy. What you wrote might not actually be what's displayed! I.E., you can totally use this as a misfire type deal in case your character wouldn't answer this question.)

bangr

Professor Quintalian | 35

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?
Wake-up sex is the best, in my opinion. Hormones are more haywire first thing in the morning; it's just scientific sense to get your bang in during wake-up time.

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#33cc33;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

BANGR CODE Please copy this pastebin for now!

Extra Notes

• The BANGR code only works in comments, there is a separate code for entries!
  If you're testing this code before posting it here please do so in a comment to an entry for accuracy!


• TDM top levels are allowed for current characters and/or new characters!
  However, current characters can ONLY interact with the following prompts:
  WELCOME TO ZHAUTAS where new characters are on the planet AND/OR the network options available if they want the thread to be considered game canon.



NAVIGATION ✦ TAKEN ✦ RESERVES

Comments

[crabinthebucket]

HOLD ON.
DID YOU JUST TRY TO APOLOGIZE FOR "BEING MEAN" WHILE REVEALING THAT YOU WERE BASICALLY SCHOOLFED ALL THROUGH YOUR CRITICAL STAGES OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT?
WE REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR DELIVERY.

[plebetography]

i mean
my buddy noct is pretty easy to troll but i’m not trying to be mean or anything
don’t think i ever could!

[crabinthebucket]

[ Yeah, he used to think John couldn't get it either, but he did, eventually. ]

BUT YOU CAN.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST DID.
YOU JUST OFFERED UP YOUR FRIEND ON A GLISTENING NUTRITION PLATEAU AS A TARGET BY REVEALING HIS VULNERABILITY.
USING KNOWLEDGE YOU COULD ONLY HAVE BY INGRATIATING YOURSELF WITH THIS NOCT.
WHETHER YOU THINK OF YOURSELF AS MEAN OR NOT, YOU'RE STILL *SLIGHTLY* CAPABLE OF OWNING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE.

[plebetography]

[ This conversation went in so many directions. But Prompto has already found himself drawn to this dude. He’s funny! ]

jeez, when you put it like that, it makes me sound evil!
but nah
he makes it easy
ok, i think i see your game here
teach me how to properly troll someone, professor karkat!

[crabinthebucket]

NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.
THINK OF THIS AS LIKE...
THOSE VESTIGIAL PERPENDICULARLY ARRANGED DISCS FOR WIGGLER ACOLYTES IN THE USE OF A TWO WHEEL DEVICE?
EARTH TRAINING WHEELS IN THE FINE, ANCIENT ART OF SHIT-TALKING YOUR FRIENDS.
MAKING IT EASY IS A LIABILITY.
YOU'RE DOING YOUR FRIEND A FAVOR TOUGHENING HIM UP.

[plebetography]

ok i squinted at that for a good few minutes
you mean bicycle, right?
dude, now that i’m starting to catch on, the way you describe things are kinda cool?
is this how everyone talks in
uh
alternia was it?

[crabinthebucket]

NO AND NO.
FIRST: NO, I MEANT THE *OTHER* TWO WHEEL DEVICE THAT GETS EARTH TRAINING WHEELS FOR WIGGLERS.
SECOND: NO, NOT ALL OF US.
THERE WERE TROLLS WHO WOULD SOONER RUB THEIR THROBBING NOOKS RAW WITH THE WHITE HOT SHRAPNEL OF A FRESHLY CONQUERED AND SUBSEQUENTLY CULLED PLANET THAN GET CAUGHT FILTH-PRONGED SPEAKING LIKE THAT.

[plebetography]

wait
uh
but you’re very clearly the one talking like that so
is it wrong?
it sounds wrong
weirdly... gross for some reason

[crabinthebucket]

YES! YES, FINALLY THE ILLUMINODE IS ON!
CONGRATULATIONS, SHERLOCK, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD SOUND LIKE!
I'M TALKING ABOUT STUCK-UP ROYALTY, A SUBJECT THAT EVEN YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND.

[plebetography]

uhhh
congratulations in knowing what you're about, i guess?

[crabinthebucket]

THANKS, ASSMASTER.
DO *YOUR* ROYALS EVER TALK LIKE THEY'VE GOT A SPLEEN FULL OF CAUSTIC LOAD GAPER SANITIZER?

[plebetography]

anytime, potty mouth!
my royals?
maybe an f-bomb or two was dropped when i woke him up too early
lol well there was this one time noct said “errday” unironically
i think he was trying to be ironic but
the delivery was all wrong

still a crime in itself because who says that?

[crabinthebucket]

YOUR RESPONSE WAS *ALMOST* ON POINT.
WE NEED TO WORK ON YOUR "SICK BURNS".
THAT ONE WASN'T SICK SO MUCH AS SLIGHTLY JAUNDICED.

[ and that was a strider-ism if he ever tapped one out. ]

HOLD UP.
WOKE HIM UP?
WHAT ARE YOU, A SERVANT TO A KING OR SOMETHING?

[plebetography]

i’ve dropped plenty of sick burns!
i just feel on the spot right now

servant?
hell no! i’m a body guard!
and also best friend to the king
^ important

[crabinthebucket]

[ what the fuck. prompto, that's unarguably cool and karkat's a little mad abt it. here's a guy who sort of achieved a bullshit childhood fantasy he had and it's not even a big deal to him. ]

AND THIS IS THE SAME FRIEND YOU MENTIONED EARLIER?

[ The one who's easy to rile up? ]

[plebetography]

[ Pls fluff his ego. Or at least start one for him. ]

yup
that’s him!

[crabinthebucket]

[ gonna say, what pumpkin ego ]

THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
ALSO KIND OF DANGEROUS?
WHAT KIND OF BODY GUARD VOLUNTEERS VALUABLE INTEL ON THE EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITIES OF HIS LEIGE SLASH FRIEND?
NOT THAT IT WOULDN'T BE TEMPTING UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES.
BUT THAT SHIT'S GENERALLY RESERVED FOR CALIGINOUS PARTNERSHIPS.

[plebetography]

man any valuable intel i have on emotional vulnerabilities are all pretty tightly related to how much of a giant dork he is
otherwise the dude could kick my ass
or anyone’s really
noct’s insanely strong
and way smart

[crabinthebucket]

UH HUH.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN TOGETHER?

[ wait does that sound like he's asking him about a friend or about something else ]

[plebetography]

together?
well, we were for a few months
then we kinda got separated for a few weeks and i actually haven’t seen him since

[ Don’t ask Prompto he has no idea what you may have been possibly implying. Went way over his head. ]

[crabinthebucket]

A FEW MONTHS?

[ He isn't judging. Alternian trolls had some pretty unique demands on them, romantically. They could bounce between quadrants and partners like their lives depended on it. And they did, when the droids came knocking. A few Earth months is a reasonable amount of time. ]

SO HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

[plebetography]

[ This conversation is going in an odd direction but Prompto is still taking this quite literally. ]

uh
sad’s definitely a feeling
i miss the guy
we’ve been friends since high school and all!

[crabinthebucket]

YEAH. IT'S NOT GREAT.
UH, I ASSUME.

[ ha fucking ha ]

OK, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
YOU ARE NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO ANSWER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.
WHY DID YOU COME HERE WITHOUT HIM?

[plebetography]

[ That’s... A tough question to answer.

Well, not really.

It’s only difficult because Prompto genuinely believes that he’s useless to the team. He’s trying not to feel that way; Ignis has expressed that much. But a larger part of him is still thoroughly convinced Noctis is better off without him. It wasn’t his fault that he was shoved off the train. He’s positive Ardyn had something to do with it but...

Was it really a loss?

Still, Prompto answers... Surprisingly quick. There’s no hesitation. ]

because he’s got bigger fish to fry on eos
not me
at the risk of sounding super cheesy here i did swear an oath
i’d rather me have to take care of this than him

[ He’s frowning at his device while he types it. ]

besides, he’d probably fall asleep on anyone he’s with!
haha!

[crabinthebucket]

[ Karkat doesn't really know Prompto. He can't really argue against anything he's saying about himself. ]

[ This isn't his problem. ]

[ Karkat's here to find a cure for this bullshit epidemic, he isn't here to care, or make friends- ]

SHUT YOUR SQUAWK BLASTER, HONORING AN OATH IS TOTALLY FUCKING NOBLE.
HE PROBABLY THINKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE DAMN TIME.
WONDERING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. IF YOU'RE OKAY.
YOU SHOULD TRY WRITING TO HIM, MAYBE ONE OF THESE GUYS WILL DELIVER IT FOR YOU ON ANOTHER OF THEIR RECRUITMENT DRIVES.