TEST DRIVE MEME #2

[zhautasmods]

Awakening

Artificial lights assault your eyes. It takes a few blinks for them to adjust properly. Quiet mechanical whirs and clicks sound in the small, sparse space that you had likely been corralled into before being put to sleep for the long journey. As grogginess fades away and lucidity starts to take hold, you begin to remember where you are and why you’re here on this spaceship thousands of light years away from home and perhaps everything and everyone you’ve ever known.

The multiverse is sick. It’s dying. And it’s up to you to save it. Or, at least, that’s what the Zenith Corporation had told you when they announced their search for a cure across the multiverse. They hand-picked individuals to be "volunteers" for the next stage of experimentation. Maybe they made it sound dire, maybe you already had your mind set to help, or maybe the specifics of how you could help was vague. Considering the alternative was wasting away on your home planet with no promise of when this cure might actually come to fruition, it ultimately wasn’t much of a choice either way.

Everything comes to life the more awake that you start to feel. "Good morning, volunteer," sounds a synthetic, feminine voice in your ear. That must be one of the fancy features they advertised about the chip that was injected just beneath your skin. A projected HUD above your torso displays and scrolls through several readings about the state of your being. "A scan of your vital signs show that everything is functioning as normal." There’s a small pause. "Wait-" The spike of alarm that should follow that single, distressed-sounding word is accompanied by a light chime. "Emotional responses are still accurate, too. Thank you for your cooperation!" Without any further explanation or allowing for protest, she continues on. "I hope you enjoyed your nap! We’ll be descending to planet #05031941 - common name designated as Zhautas - in approximately three hours. There will be a brief orientation for all volunteers exactly one hour before landing. Due to potential unnatural stress levels upon awakening from stasis, I suggest a relaxing trip to the garden beforehand."

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
My name is R.O.S.I.E. and, on behalf of all of us at the Zenith Corporation, we’re happy to have you aboard.

Code Credit

Say Aloe (Prospective Players Only)

Red lights lead the way to the gym, green will be your path to the gardens, ostignuh is- Wait, what do you mean the color ostignuh is burning your eyes? Huh. They must have over-corrected for your species. Oh, well. They’ll fix that for the next trip. For now, don’t worry about it. It probably didn’t lead to anything important anyway!

1. The staff is much more attentive this time than they were with the first wave of volunteers. Poor feedback and the threat of losing their jobs if they don't improve their standing will do that! Unfortunately, it isn't just the colors that have been over-corrected. Despite how many times you tell the very helpful staff member that you're fine, they won't leave you alone. Are you sure? They can walk with you if you'd like. They can even hold your hand if you're overwhelmed! If there's anything you need, they're here for you.
   
   Maybe if you find a buddy to walk you to your destination they might divert their attention to a different volunteer. The buddy system is pretty fool-proof, after all.


2. As you draw closer to the gardens, the lights in the hallway begin to dim. In fact, the only available source of illumination for a small distance is the thin green line across the floor guiding your way. Careful not to trip! There's handy railing to hold onto or maybe you accidentally grab the arm of that (hopefully) cute person nearby. It's kind of hard to tell and green isn't really a flattering color anyway.
   
   Suddenly, you're stepping into a wide open space of twilight. Iridescent flowers dot the landscape for as far as the eye can see. They come in all different shapes, sizes, and glow softly in this simulated night-scape. Trees of shining magenta leaves and blue bark wind up to the stars. Or, at least, the viewing panels that allow the stars to be seen from inside the ship. Not to worry, it's entirely safe and beautiful!
   
   The featured flower of this month is the Nykt Blossom. Be warned, however, that inhaling its pollen causes increased levels of oxytocin. This will cause you to feel compelled to bond socially with others. That is, you might find yourself a lot more friendly than usual! Maybe a little too friendly, even, if you're especially susceptible to its effects.


3. It's very easy to miss the warning signs in this dark as you step into the section of the garden that houses the more alien plant-life.
   
   They'll fix that for the future, of course, but for now many volunteers are likely finding themselves subject to the same unfortunate circumstances. Coitendrils are in abundance here; they're a pretty touchy feely species. It's a plant that thrives in warm conditions and grows at an incredibly fast rate to seek out these cozy spots. As it turns out, your body warmth is the highest temperature around and exactly what it's looking for.
   
   Before you know it, long green tendrils are suddenly growing around your arms or legs in speedy spirals. They get everywhere in a matter of mere seconds. Their growth is aggressive, finding ways beneath the fabric of whatever clothes you happen to be wearing and to the skin below. The only way to reverse their growing hold is to cool yourself off and fast. Maybe someone can grab you some ice?

Orientation (Prospective Players Only)

Around an hour before landing, an announcement is made to everyone aboard the ship. It’s time to find your way to the amphitheater for orientation. If anyone gripes, they are reminded that it has mandatory safety information that the Zenith Corporation is legally required to cover. In fact, there's even a quiz at the end to make sure you understand all the technical ins and outs! The Zenith Corporation only has your best interests at heart. They also can’t afford another lawsuit or PR nightmare but who can, really? It’s only a half an hour long and R.O.S.I.E. reassures everyone that it will go by faster than they think.

1. Are you way too cool for school? If you try to play hookey, the crew members of the spaceship are already on guard. You're not the first one to try this and they doubt you'll be the last. Try as you might to super sleuth your way around, there’ll be someone at apparently every single turn and twist you try.
   
   It’s also very likely that in scrambling to find a place to hide you’ll run into someone else breaking the rules! Perhaps great minds think alike and you decide to try to defy the system together. Or maybe they’re totally just getting in your way and you decide instead to throw them to the wolves to give yourself a better chance at escaping certain boredom that is an informational seminar. The choice is yours, volunteer!


2. Whether you come to the orientation willingly or are dragged in by one of the staff, you’ll quickly realize just how bad R.O.S.I.E. lied. A half an hour feels almost like ten hours instead. The last time you checked your watch, it was somehow later than when you check it now. Is time going backward? It sure seems like it the longer you listen to the monotone voice read over colored flavor text clearly meant to engage but missing its mark stupendously. Even the motivation of a quiz at the end that needs to be passed in order to disembark seems to do little to nothing for your dwindling attention span.
   
   Finally, there’s a break in the bureaucratic monotony. The faceless, droning voice introduces one of the staff currently on Zhautas, Jeneviere. He's assistant to the head scientist, Professor Quintalian, and freshly assigned overseer of new volunteers. He also looks like he absolutely doesn't want to be the one doing this seminar.
   
   "Come now, Jenny," says a masculine voice off screen. "You promised."
   "I know what I said," he snaps, glaring off camera and not seeming to care much for the fact this is a live feed nor that these new volunteers are expecting something a bit more professional.
   "Then what's the problem?" the voice asks again. As it does, a tentacle wiggles into view and gives a reassuring pat on the deerman's shoulder. "I know for a fact that you like being filmed, Jenny, so really this shouldn't be so daunting-"
   
   As he speaks, Jeneviere's cheeks suddenly burn red hot. He stands forcefully out of his chair and uses one of those hoofs to kick harshly at the source of the tentacles. There's a very undignified squawk at the attack before the video feed cuts out and a technical difficulties sign is displayed.
   
   "... Right," the narrator from before says to break the undeniably awkward silence. "Just give us a moment, volunteers, and we'll get a pre-recorded seminar ready for you instead. In the meantime, let's open up communications with the facility and allow you to discuss with those already on the planet about what they've enjoyed most about their time on Zhautas so far?*
   
   
3. Hopefully, you didn't forget about the quiz! The staff certainly didn't. After the pre-recorded seminar is run, papers are handed out. A quiet shuffle carries through the room as people pass them to and fro down the aisles. It all seems rather arbitrary and tedious but remember! You have to pass in order to disembark.
   
   It isn't too hard. Or maybe it is. Perhaps it's just the pressure that you only have fifteen minutes to complete it. What was the professor's first name again? How many research facilities are there on the planet? Staff are scrutinizing your every move now, it feels like. Do you take the risk and try to whisper for help to the person next to you? Pass notes? Do what you must to succeed! ...Or you can just shamefully take the quiz again and again and again until they're legally obligated to let you off board.

Welcome to Zhautas! (All Players)

Finally, it's time to disembark at the research facility. This time they have the right coordinates so it's as easy as stepping off the ship and to your new home away from home. Or, at least, it should have been that easy...

There's an awful lot of construction going on around here. Several beings with hard hats, power tools, and ridiculous amounts of glue are rushing about. They're shouting orders and saying "excuse me" where they remember to. Still, it can be hard to get a word in edgewise about the fact that you're new volunteers here to check-in. In addition to the construction, there's also an awful lot of important-seeming people walking throughout the facility as well that staff are far more attentive to than you.

In short, it's borderline chaos as you try to get your bearings.

1. "Bad news, new volunteers," says R.O.S.I.E. in the midst of all the commotion. "We have your housing assignments but there have been some... technical difficulties in preparing the new rooms." There's actually been a lot of technical difficulties, period. Maybe you've already noticed with the lights randomly changing color or dimness, the vending machine that launched your drink at you, or R.O.S.I.E. herself glitching out periodically when responding. The problem with the rooms is that the doors won't open. Or they won't stay closed. Or that they open and close constantly and forcefully so it's a safety hazard. As if everything else going on with all the construction isn't.
   
   "We're working on it as fast as we can, but for now, we've set up a temporary sleeping situation until its resolved." Everyone will be directed to one of the larger common rooms in the east wing of the facility while the rest of the volunteers are still awaiting their new housing as promised. Mattresses are laid out in rows on the floor. There's plenty of blankets, pillows, and even some LED lights strung around the room to provide some nice ambience.
   
   Additionally, there's a screen covering one of the walls for a movie to be projected on before bed. R.O.S.I.E. has chosen a thematically appropriate film that was approved by Professor Quintalian himself. Snacks are provided too! It's an old-fashioned sleepover, volunteers. Make a blanket fort, enjoy what's on for your viewing pleasure, and have - most of all - have fun.


2. What's a sleepover without scary stories? Flashlights have been provided and it's time to get spooky. Here's your chance to share that real thriller that you know from back home. Maybe another world has a similar tale! Either way, there's nothing like bonding over a little healthy fear. Right?
   
   Or maybe terrifying strangers isn't your idea of a good time and you'd rather make shadow puppets instead. That's also an option! In fact, some people are trying to start a contest out of it to see who can cast the most creative shadows around.


3. The night staff comes around for one last security sweep. Get some sleep, they say. It's been a long day. Tomorrow might be even longer if they still can't figure out the rooms or where to put all these new volunteers for the time being.
   
   As nice as that sounds, it's a little easier said than done. Whether it's the construction noise, the person next to you snoring, or late night existential thoughts it's difficult for sleep to find you. Maybe talking to someone might help? Or maybe you just need to go to the bathroom. Good luck crossing the swath of bodies, in the case of the latter, and who knows! You might find someone else having as much trouble sleeping as you that you can commiserate with.
   
   Or maybe you're the one snoring. Do you happen to kick in your sleep? How unfortunate for the person assigned to the mat next to you. They might be courteous or they might tell you just how obnoxious it is. Whatever the case might actually be, you're likely in for a long first night here at the research facility.

Network/Bangr (All Players)

During all the goings-on, R.O.S.I.E. will prompt you to set up your presence on the network. Pick a username, a profile picture, and commence to shitposting immediately if you so desire! Additionally, if you want to get a headstart on your contribution to the volunteer program, why not set up your Bangr? R.O.S.I.E. even has an icebreaker question ready for you! They change every month. This month's question is:

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?*
(*Despite what you might actually put, know that R.O.S.I.E. is a little glitchy. What you wrote might not actually be what's displayed! I.E., you can totally use this as a misfire type deal in case your character wouldn't answer this question.)

bangr

Professor Quintalian | 35

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?
Wake-up sex is the best, in my opinion. Hormones are more haywire first thing in the morning; it's just scientific sense to get your bang in during wake-up time.

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#33cc33;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

BANGR CODE Please copy this pastebin for now!

Extra Notes

• The BANGR code only works in comments, there is a separate code for entries!
  If you're testing this code before posting it here please do so in a comment to an entry for accuracy!


• TDM top levels are allowed for current characters and/or new characters!
  However, current characters can ONLY interact with the following prompts:
  WELCOME TO ZHAUTAS where new characters are on the planet AND/OR the network options available if they want the thread to be considered game canon.



NAVIGATION ✦ TAKEN ✦ RESERVES

Comments

[sharkasm]

[Were Chuuya younger than Rin, he would definitely have been teased at some point. As it is? There's demons and cow-people here. Why not dwarves? No, I kid.

Really tired, Rin sits down at some of the seats in the area, though he leaves the closest one to Chuuya, just because it seems polite.]

I'm Rin. Rin Matsuoka - there's another one walking around, too. [So he's not just saying it for the "Bond, James Bond" factor.] Chuuya, huh? Are you from Japan, too?

[thetaintedsorrow]

Rin, huh? Got it.

[Chuuya grabs his drink from the machine and has a seat next to Rin, lamenting the fact that this isn’t wine or whiskey.]

Yeah. Chuuya Nakahara is my full name. I’m from Yokohama.

[Which is undoubtedly a different Yokohama than Rin is familiar with, if he’s familiar with it at all.

Upon closer inspection Chuuya notices something odd about Rin, and of course he’s gotta point it out.]

Your teeth are all pointy. Neat.

[sharkasm]

Yokohama, huh... I'm from Iwatobi.

[Which almost certainly doesn't exist in Chuuya's world, but hey, who knows every single place in Japan, anyway?

... Well at least he's polite about the teeth.]

Hm? Oh... I guess. [He has to smile a bit, though.] It runs in the family.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[OH NO HE’S CUTE WHEN HE SMILES. Chuuya can’t even be all that pissy anymore. Well, for now at least.]

Nice. Can’t imagine it’s fun to bite your lip with those, though.

[Of course there’s plenty of fun uses for those teeth, too.]

How long have you been here? Because I just got here and I’m already pissed off about this entire shitty situation.

[sharkasm]

I'm not that clumsy!

[But he says it more as banter (or boasting) than anything. Of course he's had an accident or two, just like everybody else. It's a good thing the shark teeth didn't grow in until he grew up... somehow.]

Trust me, it doesn't get any better. [Well, hopefully it will. But Rin isn't holding his breath.] I've been here about a month, and it's been nothing but trouble.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[That just gets a little chuckle out of him. Chuuya wonders how many shark jokes this guy has heard in his lifetime.]

Yeah? What was your first month like?

[So far Chuuya has been forced to sit through a boring ass orientation and been assaulted by hentai vines, but all in all it’s nothing he can’t handle. He’ll just...be extra wary of the plantlife around here from now on.]

There’s also the whole disease thing. That’s real great news to wake up to.

[sharkasm]

[Hey, sharks are badass. Rin has no problem with being one.]

Well... it's taking some getting used to.

[That's putting it mildly. Rin thought he'd be able to take it just fine, but it's proven to take a lot more out of him than he thought it would. So many things he'd never realized were real; so many different worlds and species out there... It's nice! But it's also a lot to process.]

Yeah. I don't know how their experiments here are supposed to figure things out, but they say that having sex helps, somehow. There are worse things to do, [... probably...] but it's not what I had in mind when I volunteered.

[thetaintedsorrow]

This sounds like a setup for some kind of really fucking terrible porno.

[Yeah, Chuuya has no problem with getting his bang on when it’s done on his terms. This whole fuck or die thing is just bizarre and annoying all at once. Couple that with the rationed booze and Chuuya is ready to go the fuck home already.]

I guess we have to, right? It’s probably easier for people that aren’t virgins.

[Like himself, obviously. Chuuya is an expert at sex. A sexpert. Totally.]

Did you try it yet?

[sharkasm]

And it's run by a tentacles monster, too.

[Definitely a bad porno. N-Not that Rin watches that kind of stuff! But the internet is a scary place, and sometimes you just so happen to come across things when you're looking for gravure idols. He means: fashion. No - he means: information on swimming!]

No... [WAIT - THAT SOUNDS SO LAME!] I mean: not here! [Not fucking anywhere, pun intended. But hey, it's not technically a lie.] I just -...

I'm waiting for the right person... I guess.

[thetaintedsorrow]

A tentacle monster...?

[This is the first Chuuya has heard of this...what the actual fuck? Granted he's seen some pretty bizarre shit in his day, including actual Cthulhu, but still, what??]

Ah, so you're that kind of guy, huh?

[One of those people that needs to establish some kind of romantic relationship before fucking, he means. Chuuya can't really relate, but whatever floats Rin's boat.]

Is there somebody from back home you would've preferred?

[He's just being nosy now...]

[sharkasm]

Take a good look at that professor next time he shows his face - not to mention the rest of him. [Definitely a tentacle monster. Also definitely a pervert.] If I didn't know any better, I'd say he dragged everyone here just to give his tentacles something to do.

[And yet Rin never considers that he really doesn't know better than that. He's not stupid, but nobody would drag people halfway across the multiverse just to make this terrible porno! Probably!!]

Yeah, well. [Kinda. He guesses he is? He's never given it much thought, because wanting an emotional bond with someone before sex is the normal way to feel, right? It is in Rin's world, anyway. All the stories portray it like that.

Someone from home, though?]

LIKE HELL! Who would I even do it with?! [Okay, now he's just outing himself as a massive virgin. But he's never had a proper girlfriend, and when he thinks of people he cares about, all that comes to mind is his friends.] I can't exactly have sex with my friends, can I!?

[thetaintedsorrow]

Well now you’ve got me curious.

[Don’t underestimate the power of porno! Or something.

Somebody is getting defensive! Chuuya normally doesn’t like teasing people because it reminds him of Dazai’s asshole self too much, but he does like Rin’s reactions so far...]

Sure you can. You don’t even have to be friends with someone to do it.

[Sex ed with Chuuya...]

I mean, if that’s the only way to keep from getting sick and dying, then it’s not like we have much choice.

[sharkasm]

No - I'm sure it's not gonna happen that fast...

[If there are direct consequences to lack of sex, Rin hasn't heard them. All he knows is that this is research to battle the disease destroying the multiverse, and it's supposed to happen through sex.

Or something. The more he hears, the less he feels he knows.]

I know you don't need to even know the person, but... it'd feel weird if I didn't like them at least a little.

[thetaintedsorrow]

I dunno. Hate sex can be pretty good.

[BUT ANYWAY...]

So what did you do back home? Like job wise?

[How many ways are there to skirt around the fact that Chuuya is a Mafia executive? He’s not ashamed or anything, but he’d rather not be looked at with suspicion wherever he goes on this planet.]

[sharkasm]

[Have a twitchy eyebrow to go with your lack of shame.]

I'll take your word for it.

[Not. Really. Looking to try that anytime soon. Man, he's not even managing love sex, let alone hate sex.]

I'm a swimmer. I still got a ways to go, but I'm aiming for the Olympics.

Well.. eventually.

[When that disease gets taken care of. Volunteering means that Rin should be among the first to be immune or something, right?]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Have another smirk at your judging eyebrow twitch.]

A swimmer, huh? Nice.

[Chuuya wonders what kind of career he might’ve pursued had his life gone very differently. The sky’s the limit, he supposes, but no use thinking about what might’ve been.]

Heh. So you’re like a shark. With the teeth and the swimming.

[Don't mind him, he’s dumb.]

Anyway, I think it would pay to have allies here, so I’ll keep you in mind as shit starts happening.

[sharkasm]

Damn right I am. [Maybe Chuuya is dumb, but Rin considers the shark title something of an honor.] Better be careful you don't get bitten.

[He gives a wiiiide smirk to underline that fact. The moment he realizes that biting and sex can be a good combination, he'll be embarrassed as fuck, but he means it (fairly) innocently now, so he says it without shame.]

"As shit starts happening"... What do you think is gonna happen?

[He's already slipping on the politeness a little bit. Blame the shark talk.]

Actually: what did you do back home?

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Ohhhhooo, now there’s something Chuuya can get behind, which is being bitten, even by those sharp teeth. He has a feeling Rin doesn’t realize how flirty that sounds.]

Heh. You say that like it’s a bad thing.

[This is a lot more fun than just sitting around all night.]

C’mon. Haven’t you seen those sci-fi movies? Shit always goes wrong when people show up on a new planet.

[Politeness is overrated, but Chuuya isn’t gonna spill the beans just yet. Why not make it a guessing game?]

Try to guess. If you get it right you might even win a prize.

[sharkasm]

What, do you like pain or something?

[It's a rhetorical question, for the most part. Rin knows that such people exist, but it's more like an urban legend to him, and about as unbelievable.]

This isn't a movie though.

[So clearly it doesn't apply?! Let him have some peace already; there's enough magic and animal people to make things exciting without actual shit hitting the fan.]

No, but I don't even know if your Japan is anything like my Japan... [He made that mistaken assumption once; he's not about to make it again.

Still, he doesn't want to give up, either, so here he goes with the guessing. Chuuya's attitude is one thing; the way he carries himself is telling. Still, he's short, and not overly muscular even though he's in shape... Probably not an athlete, with that style.]

Maybe a bodyguard?

[It doesn't quite feel right, with how short Chuuya is, but he sure manages to make an impression all the same...]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Maybe I do. You’ll just have to wait and find out.

[Someone swat him with a rolled-up newspaper.]

Probably not, but still, why not try to guess?

[Then Rin does guess, and he’s pretty damn close. Chuuya grins, pleased that Rin didn’t guess something tame and boring.]

That was only part of my job, but you’re getting warmer. Do you want a hint?

[sharkasm]

[OMG Chuu... Someone get the spray bottle. Meanwhile Rin will just pretend he didn't hear that, because what the hell is a (mostly) pure and innocent boy to say to that?!

At least his guess wasn't a total failure. Pleased with himself, Rin takes another sip of his drink.]

Sure. [Hint away, because he's definitely not gonna get closer than that.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[He’s supposed to say HELL YES cause look at that Chuu booty! But that’s fine, he’ll come around. Probably.]

I’m an executive in the Mafia,

[He looks awfully proud as he announces that. Not everyone is so accepting of his career, but it’s not like Chuuya gives a shit. As long as Rin doesn’t go blabbing and convincing everyone that Chuuya can’t be trusted.]

Not the answer you expected, I bet.

[sharkasm]

What!?

[He's gotta be joking, right?! Apart from anything else:]

Nobody in the mafia would actually say they're in the mafia!

[Least of all to random swimboys on an alien planet research center with an unhealthy focus on sex!! ... Okay, maybe not all of that is relevant, but it's definitely contributing to why Rin isn't really processing any of this.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Believe it or don’t. It’s not like I have a resume to prove it.

[This is Chuuya we’re talking about, after all. It’s not like he’s subtle about anything.]

Does me possibly being in the Mafia scare you or something?

[He knows it doesn’t, because Rin doesn’t seem the type to scare easily, but still, might as well try and gauge his reaction.]

[sharkasm]

No, definitely not.

[If Rin was from a place where the mafia had a huge presence, maybe it would have been different, but he really isn't scared. It doesn't seem real enough to be scary.]

You're serious? Organized crime, and stuff like that?