sexyspace | TEST DRIVE MEME #2

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!test drive

TEST DRIVE MEME #2

Awakening

Artificial lights assault your eyes. It takes a few blinks for them to adjust properly. Quiet mechanical whirs and clicks sound in the small, sparse space that you had likely been corralled into before being put to sleep for the long journey. As grogginess fades away and lucidity starts to take hold, you begin to remember where you are and why you’re here on this spaceship thousands of light years away from home and perhaps everything and everyone you’ve ever known.

The multiverse is sick. It’s dying. And it’s up to you to save it. Or, at least, that’s what the Zenith Corporation had told you when they announced their search for a cure across the multiverse. They hand-picked individuals to be "volunteers" for the next stage of experimentation. Maybe they made it sound dire, maybe you already had your mind set to help, or maybe the specifics of how you could help was vague. Considering the alternative was wasting away on your home planet with no promise of when this cure might actually come to fruition, it ultimately wasn’t much of a choice either way.

Everything comes to life the more awake that you start to feel. "Good morning, volunteer," sounds a synthetic, feminine voice in your ear. That must be one of the fancy features they advertised about the chip that was injected just beneath your skin. A projected HUD above your torso displays and scrolls through several readings about the state of your being. "A scan of your vital signs show that everything is functioning as normal." There’s a small pause. "Wait-" The spike of alarm that should follow that single, distressed-sounding word is accompanied by a light chime. "Emotional responses are still accurate, too. Thank you for your cooperation!" Without any further explanation or allowing for protest, she continues on. "I hope you enjoyed your nap! We’ll be descending to planet #05031941 - common name designated as Zhautas - in approximately three hours. There will be a brief orientation for all volunteers exactly one hour before landing. Due to potential unnatural stress levels upon awakening from stasis, I suggest a relaxing trip to the garden beforehand."

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
My name is R.O.S.I.E. and, on behalf of all of us at the Zenith Corporation, we’re happy to have you aboard.

Code Credit

Say Aloe (Prospective Players Only)

Red lights lead the way to the gym, green will be your path to the gardens, ostignuh is- Wait, what do you mean the color ostignuh is burning your eyes? Huh. They must have over-corrected for your species. Oh, well. They’ll fix that for the next trip. For now, don’t worry about it. It probably didn’t lead to anything important anyway!

The staff is much more attentive this time than they were with the first wave of volunteers. Poor feedback and the threat of losing their jobs if they don't improve their standing will do that! Unfortunately, it isn't just the colors that have been over-corrected. Despite how many times you tell the very helpful staff member that you're fine, they won't leave you alone. Are you sure? They can walk with you if you'd like. They can even hold your hand if you're overwhelmed! If there's anything you need, they're here for you.

Maybe if you find a buddy to walk you to your destination they might divert their attention to a different volunteer. The buddy system is pretty fool-proof, after all.

As you draw closer to the gardens, the lights in the hallway begin to dim. In fact, the only available source of illumination for a small distance is the thin green line across the floor guiding your way. Careful not to trip! There's handy railing to hold onto or maybe you accidentally grab the arm of that (hopefully) cute person nearby. It's kind of hard to tell and green isn't really a flattering color anyway.

Suddenly, you're stepping into a wide open space of twilight. Iridescent flowers dot the landscape for as far as the eye can see. They come in all different shapes, sizes, and glow softly in this simulated night-scape. Trees of shining magenta leaves and blue bark wind up to the stars. Or, at least, the viewing panels that allow the stars to be seen from inside the ship. Not to worry, it's entirely safe and beautiful!

The featured flower of this month is the Nykt Blossom. Be warned, however, that inhaling its pollen causes increased levels of oxytocin. This will cause you to feel compelled to bond socially with others. That is, you might find yourself a lot more friendly than usual! Maybe a little too friendly, even, if you're especially susceptible to its effects.

It's very easy to miss the warning signs in this dark as you step into the section of the garden that houses the more alien plant-life.

They'll fix that for the future, of course, but for now many volunteers are likely finding themselves subject to the same unfortunate circumstances. Coitendrils are in abundance here; they're a pretty touchy feely species. It's a plant that thrives in warm conditions and grows at an incredibly fast rate to seek out these cozy spots. As it turns out, your body warmth is the highest temperature around and exactly what it's looking for.

Before you know it, long green tendrils are suddenly growing around your arms or legs in speedy spirals. They get everywhere in a matter of mere seconds. Their growth is aggressive, finding ways beneath the fabric of whatever clothes you happen to be wearing and to the skin below. The only way to reverse their growing hold is to cool yourself off and fast. Maybe someone can grab you some ice?

Orientation (Prospective Players Only)

Around an hour before landing, an announcement is made to everyone aboard the ship. It’s time to find your way to the amphitheater for orientation. If anyone gripes, they are reminded that it has mandatory safety information that the Zenith Corporation is legally required to cover. In fact, there's even a quiz at the end to make sure you understand all the technical ins and outs! The Zenith Corporation only has your best interests at heart. They also can’t afford another lawsuit or PR nightmare but who can, really? It’s only a half an hour long and R.O.S.I.E. reassures everyone that it will go by faster than they think.

Are you way too cool for school? If you try to play hookey, the crew members of the spaceship are already on guard. You're not the first one to try this and they doubt you'll be the last. Try as you might to super sleuth your way around, there’ll be someone at apparently every single turn and twist you try.

It’s also very likely that in scrambling to find a place to hide you’ll run into someone else breaking the rules! Perhaps great minds think alike and you decide to try to defy the system together. Or maybe they’re totally just getting in your way and you decide instead to throw them to the wolves to give yourself a better chance at escaping certain boredom that is an informational seminar. The choice is yours, volunteer!

Whether you come to the orientation willingly or are dragged in by one of the staff, you’ll quickly realize just how bad R.O.S.I.E. lied. A half an hour feels almost like ten hours instead. The last time you checked your watch, it was somehow later than when you check it now. Is time going backward? It sure seems like it the longer you listen to the monotone voice read over colored flavor text clearly meant to engage but missing its mark stupendously. Even the motivation of a quiz at the end that needs to be passed in order to disembark seems to do little to nothing for your dwindling attention span.

Finally, there’s a break in the bureaucratic monotony. The faceless, droning voice introduces one of the staff currently on Zhautas, Jeneviere. He's assistant to the head scientist, Professor Quintalian, and freshly assigned overseer of new volunteers. He also looks like he absolutely doesn't want to be the one doing this seminar.

"Come now, Jenny," says a masculine voice off screen. "You promised."
"I know what I said," he snaps, glaring off camera and not seeming to care much for the fact this is a live feed nor that these new volunteers are expecting something a bit more professional.
"Then what's the problem?" the voice asks again. As it does, a tentacle wiggles into view and gives a reassuring pat on the deerman's shoulder. "I know for a fact that you like being filmed, Jenny, so really this shouldn't be so daunting-"

As he speaks, Jeneviere's cheeks suddenly burn red hot. He stands forcefully out of his chair and uses one of those hoofs to kick harshly at the source of the tentacles. There's a very undignified squawk at the attack before the video feed cuts out and a technical difficulties sign is displayed.

"... Right," the narrator from before says to break the undeniably awkward silence. "Just give us a moment, volunteers, and we'll get a pre-recorded seminar ready for you instead. In the meantime, let's open up communications with the facility and allow you to discuss with those already on the planet about what they've enjoyed most about their time on Zhautas so far?*
Hopefully, you didn't forget about the quiz! The staff certainly didn't. After the pre-recorded seminar is run, papers are handed out. A quiet shuffle carries through the room as people pass them to and fro down the aisles. It all seems rather arbitrary and tedious but remember! You have to pass in order to disembark.

It isn't too hard. Or maybe it is. Perhaps it's just the pressure that you only have fifteen minutes to complete it. What was the professor's first name again? How many research facilities are there on the planet? Staff are scrutinizing your every move now, it feels like. Do you take the risk and try to whisper for help to the person next to you? Pass notes? Do what you must to succeed! ...Or you can just shamefully take the quiz again and again and again until they're legally obligated to let you off board.

Welcome to Zhautas! (All Players)

Finally, it's time to disembark at the research facility. This time they have the right coordinates so it's as easy as stepping off the ship and to your new home away from home. Or, at least, it should have been that easy...

There's an awful lot of construction going on around here. Several beings with hard hats, power tools, and ridiculous amounts of glue are rushing about. They're shouting orders and saying "excuse me" where they remember to. Still, it can be hard to get a word in edgewise about the fact that you're new volunteers here to check-in. In addition to the construction, there's also an awful lot of important-seeming people walking throughout the facility as well that staff are far more attentive to than you.

In short, it's borderline chaos as you try to get your bearings.

"Bad news, new volunteers," says R.O.S.I.E. in the midst of all the commotion. "We have your housing assignments but there have been some... technical difficulties in preparing the new rooms." There's actually been a lot of technical difficulties, period. Maybe you've already noticed with the lights randomly changing color or dimness, the vending machine that launched your drink at you, or R.O.S.I.E. herself glitching out periodically when responding. The problem with the rooms is that the doors won't open. Or they won't stay closed. Or that they open and close constantly and forcefully so it's a safety hazard. As if everything else going on with all the construction isn't.

"We're working on it as fast as we can, but for now, we've set up a temporary sleeping situation until its resolved." Everyone will be directed to one of the larger common rooms in the east wing of the facility while the rest of the volunteers are still awaiting their new housing as promised. Mattresses are laid out in rows on the floor. There's plenty of blankets, pillows, and even some LED lights strung around the room to provide some nice ambience.

Additionally, there's a screen covering one of the walls for a movie to be projected on before bed. R.O.S.I.E. has chosen a thematically appropriate film that was approved by Professor Quintalian himself. Snacks are provided too! It's an old-fashioned sleepover, volunteers. Make a blanket fort, enjoy what's on for your viewing pleasure, and have - most of all - have fun.

What's a sleepover without scary stories? Flashlights have been provided and it's time to get spooky. Here's your chance to share that real thriller that you know from back home. Maybe another world has a similar tale! Either way, there's nothing like bonding over a little healthy fear. Right?

Or maybe terrifying strangers isn't your idea of a good time and you'd rather make shadow puppets instead. That's also an option! In fact, some people are trying to start a contest out of it to see who can cast the most creative shadows around.

The night staff comes around for one last security sweep. Get some sleep, they say. It's been a long day. Tomorrow might be even longer if they still can't figure out the rooms or where to put all these new volunteers for the time being.

As nice as that sounds, it's a little easier said than done. Whether it's the construction noise, the person next to you snoring, or late night existential thoughts it's difficult for sleep to find you. Maybe talking to someone might help? Or maybe you just need to go to the bathroom. Good luck crossing the swath of bodies, in the case of the latter, and who knows! You might find someone else having as much trouble sleeping as you that you can commiserate with.

Or maybe you're the one snoring. Do you happen to kick in your sleep? How unfortunate for the person assigned to the mat next to you. They might be courteous or they might tell you just how obnoxious it is. Whatever the case might actually be, you're likely in for a long first night here at the research facility.

Network/Bangr (All Players)

During all the goings-on, R.O.S.I.E. will prompt you to set up your presence on the network. Pick a username, a profile picture, and commence to shitposting immediately if you so desire! Additionally, if you want to get a headstart on your contribution to the volunteer program, why not set up your Bangr? R.O.S.I.E. even has an icebreaker question ready for you! They change every month. This month's question is:

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?*
(*Despite what you might actually put, know that R.O.S.I.E. is a little glitchy. What you wrote might not actually be what's displayed! I.E., you can totally use this as a misfire type deal in case your character wouldn't answer this question.)

bangr

Professor Quintalian | 35

Do you like wake-up sex or staying up all night?
Wake-up sex is the best, in my opinion. Hormones are more haywire first thing in the morning; it's just scientific sense to get your bang in during wake-up time.

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#33cc33;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

BANGR CODE Please copy this pastebin for now!

Extra Notes

The BANGR code only works in comments, there is a separate code for entries!
If you're testing this code before posting it here please do so in a comment to an entry for accuracy!

TDM top levels are allowed for current characters and/or new characters!
However, current characters can ONLY interact with the following prompts:
WELCOME TO ZHAUTAS where new characters are on the planet AND/OR the network options available if they want the thread to be considered game canon.

NAVIGATION ✦ TAKEN ✦ RESERVES

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Fortunately, or probably unfortunately for him, the mattress that Arthur had flopped down on happened to be by the one Jessica had dragged closer to the corner. The corner she'd dragged herself to in an attempt not to watch with the others, because hey, group activities were for suckers. And she preferred to enjoy her movies from the peace of a rooftop -- like any sane person.

She had a bottle of whiskey she was nursing, working on getting enough of a buzz that she could get to sleep, but she looked over when he spoke, because she thought it was directed at her.]

Yeah, that's the silver lining. I'm surprised it's not X-rated Disney.

[She looked over at the screen and the people fixated on it.]

Strike that. It is X-rated Disney.

[ Fortunately (or is it unfortunately?), Arthur has no issue sharing the secluded corner with someone who clearly wants space from the rest. Especially when that someone has an interesting sense of humor. He doesn't really bother to get up, just tilts his head in the direction of her, tipping back some to get a decent look. From his angle, she's almost an abstraction of shapes. But even with the poor lighting, he can make out dark hair, a pale face, and dark eyes. ]

I think there might still be singing in X-rated Disney. That's kind of their thing.

[ Musical numbers in the middle of sections. Even the villains. Not that they'd ever put out anything above PG, but it's the thought that counts. ]

[She took another sip, feeling the burn all the way to her toes, then pointed at the people laughing.]

Tap dancing counts. It's officially an X-rated Disney movie. All we need is a talking animal, but I guess a fuckable fishman is filling in on that end. Besides, what the hell are they going to sing about? Just a spoonful of white stuff?

[At least he wasn't calling her out on her clearly shitty people skills. Socializing wasn't her forte, but socializing was overrated.]

Does tap dancing count? Fairly sure this puts the rest of the Disney princes to shame.

[ Who knows, maybe there's been updates since the last time he watched any of those films. Which was probably about twenty years ago at this rate.

Except Lion King, that was always acceptable. ]

Spoonful of white stuff, "just keep swimming", they'd go right in line.

[ God this went places. Straight to hell in a hand basket. Finally electing to get up, Arthur leverages himself onto his elbows, re-balances his weight to stick a friendly hand in her direction. ]

I'm Arthur, by the way.

[She could ignore it, and him, but that wasn't the point of being here. She had a limited option of people to choose from here, and she didn't want to wind up being experimentally paired with someone she didn't want to be. So, in a herculean effort, she tried to play nice.

Ish.

She reached forward and gave his hand a squeeze -- maybe a bit harder than she'd intended.]

Jessica. Welcome to Fuckville. Enjoying it so far?

[ Her handshake is like something out of those shows. Where one tries to outdo the other in something like a show of strength. He doesn't think it's coming from that, exactly, but there's something like reluctance. Either way, he keeps it even and doesn't extend the time they're touching longer than necessary.

Thank god for working a job that required knowing this kind of nuance on the daily. ]

Glad I won't have to mentally mark you down as X-Rated Disney girl. [ But he would've. If push came to shove. ] I could've gone without all the fanfare of arriving. Or the, what, fairy lights? Can't complain too much, I've slept in worse.

You been here long?

[It was less intentionally trying to flex her muscles and more just not focusing on not flexing them. She had to watch herself sometimes, and she wasn't always focused on doing that. She preferred when it led to broken door handles or sinks than hands.]

At least you got a proper ride here. We got dumped in butt-fuck jungle-land and had to hike it. Not to mention I've been stuck here for a month with limited access to alcohol. Which is bullshit.

[That answered his questions, right?]

"Butt-fuck jungle land", is that a turn of phrase or close to the reality?

[ Because really. He'd seen those vines in the garden on the welcome ship. Straight out of an anime. ]

That is bullshit. Who drops a bunch of strangers on a planet and doesn't provide social lubrication? [ This corporation, obviously. Arthur knows they're supposed to be here for reasons. Semi-serious to serious reasons. Despite having signed on, he still isn't sure if it's all real or if he got catfished into some weird cult. ]

Turn of phrase. As far as I know, all the butt-fucking is happening here, along with all the other fucking. But there were plants that tried to eat you, so... I'd avoid fucking in the great outdoors.

[Had he met Quin yet? Literal tentacle monster.]

Thank you! Here I am, the only one getting outraged about this. I've had to steal everything. Including this bottle. Which, by the way, comes with the possibility of it being drugged, so, fun for all.

Honestly, did it outdoors once and then promised myself never again. Just not worth it.

[ Is that overshare? Whatever. The point still stands, because he'd somehow ended up with splinters in his hands and had spent an hour or two afterwards painstakingly pulling them out with tweezers. ]

Drugged as in what, it'll put you to sleep? Send you on a LSD trip? Or is that part of the charm; drink a bottle and find out the effects. Mystery flavor.

Protip: Beaches aren't sexy.

[No matter what the movies said. The movies lied.]

Oh, no. They use fun little aphrodisiacs. You should have seen the sandsharks with the plant they smoked into the room. Giddy-up.

You know, I've heard that from several sources. Sand really does get everywhere, doesn't it?

[ Ugh, he doesn't even want to think about it. ]

Excuse me, the sandsharks and the what now? [ What the hell. What has he gotten himself into? Why is this place so weird?

This coming from someone who works almost exclusively in dreams. ]

Everywhere you don't want it to.

[Let's talk chafing, Arthur.

She took another swig, smirking at the look on his face.]

Plant and chemicals and whatever. They say it's for the whole productivity and blah blah for the cure, but I don't see how putting them on display for us to watch did dick all for curing anything. Just kind of drives home the whole 'we're a bunch of lab rats' feeling.

[ Yikes, chafing. Normally he'd talk about it but he's sort of derailed by this thing. With the sandsharks?

Literally what. ]

Like some kind of mating display? I guess if it did anything, maybe someone discovered a new kink.

[ His enthusiasm for that is as dry as his tone. That is to say, the grass in the middle of a California drought. ]

You know, I did the lab rat thing once. It had certain upsides. Then again, maybe it cut my life expectancy in half. [ Well ok, technically it did. Having been part of the initial testing for Project Somnacin, he got to learn the ropes of dreamshare when the military stil had their paws on it. It'd be brutal, violent, fairly miserable. But with so much promise that the technology could bring.

Continuing on with it meant going criminal, which surely meant he wasn't going to live very long. Not if he pissed off another Cobol Engineering. ]

More like 'how effective are aphrodisiacs on sharks fucking behind glass'.

[Another longer swig at the thought of winding up like those sharks. She pointed up at the ceiling, though not at any specific spot.]

You're on candid camera, so if you're not up for being someone's fap fuel, use a blanket.

Why sharks?

[ That's what he wants to know in all of this. Because seriously, why? ]

Blanket might still be someone's fetish. Considering they have cameras, it might be more than one person's.

[ Really, he expected to be more bothered. Maybe he would be, eventually. But he's always had a sort of detached attitude about nudity and anything that went along with it. Bodies were bodies.]

Why not sharks? They have a guy who looks like he's the offspring of Bambi and a farmer's daughter and let's not get started on the son of Ursula. It's a bad Disney cast here and you're drawing a line at sharks?

[She snorted, shifting on her mattress and scowling at it as her pillow slipped down.]

I'm sure there's all kinds of fetishes here. Anyone starts licking my feet and they're going to find that being the last thing they do.

Not drawing a line at sharks, just seemed like an odd choice. I do draw the line at snails, that's not something I ever need to be emblazoned on my retinas.

[ Because yikes. Who wants to see that?

As Jessica frowns at her pillow, Arthur takes a few moments to get more comfortable, blankets rustling under the motions. He ends up sitting cross legged, shoes finally kicked off at the foot of the mattress. Still can't make out all of Jessica's features with the dim lighting, but it's better than the half turned attention from before. ]

Uh, noted. Didn't have it in mind, but good to know all the same. [ So she has a violent streak, alright. Something they have in common, just for different uses. ]

What did you do before here, if you don't mind my asking?

[Jessica having a violent streak was like saying water was wet. Or more like water could be wet. She was more just... generally bitchy and salty in general, with the potential to be violent if the right buttons were pushed. People seemed to just love to push her buttons.

She'd punch the pillow, but that might break it, and no one wanted to clean up the feathers, least of all her, so she just glared at it again and shoved it into the hollow between her back and the wall, adjusting until it wasn't too annoying.]

Isn't that like asking what someone's in prison for?

[She smirked and took another sip.]

Depends on who you ask. Some would say I'm a nosy bitch who can't mind her own business. Others might hire me to do just that.

Shedding our old lives entirely then? Didn't get that memo.

[ Not that there's really a chance they're gonna go back. Still, he'll always consider dreamshare his career. He doesn't think that's going to change just because he's a million galaxies away or whatever. ]

Huh, are we in the same business? [ The way she puts it, they could be. Extracting secrets from people's heads takes a certain nosiness. Arthur likes to term it curiosity. But he also knows his whole job of being a point man comes down to plain and simple prying. ]

[She laughed, taking a longer swig, then looking at him and handing the bottle over.]

You don't exactly seem like the type who has to beat up clients to get them to pay you for the contract they signed just because they're upset that their precious boo boo really was screwing around with their cousin.

[ A little surprised at the offer, he gives her a raised brow, as if asking you really want to share? After all, she had stolen it right and proper. But if she's going to hold it out like that, he isn't going to automatically refuse. Arthur takes the bottle and a generous sip. Not a swig really, but it's a close thing.

The burn all the way down his throat is somehow reassuring. ]

Typically, I don't have to resort to fists for that. The business end of a gun does the same trick in my experience. Usually, it doesn't get to that point at all, if I'm lucky.

[ Or if his research went right. ]

[It was whiskey, and not as cheap as she was used to, so it had a nicer burn than the Wild Turkey she bought and stashed around her apartment back home. But, this wasn't home. And there'd be no more late nights stumbling home from the bar or crashing on her couch because fuck the bed being too far away. This bottle, so far, didn't seem to have any other effects on it. Bully for them.]

At least you're not a fucking ninja. I swear to god, if I run into one more karate nut...

[ Arthur takes another sip of the whiskey before passing it back. He's not a lightweight, but he also wants most of his functions about him. At least for the first night in this very weird place. ]

Do you live in some kind of Mortal Kombat world where meeting ninjas on the regular is a thing? Or is that something I'm gonna have to worry about here?

[He wasn't a greedy pig, but he didn't do it just to make her feel better -- not that she needed it. Points to him. The question had her snorting and she shook her head.]

Seems like just my run of the luck. Aliens from space, Norse gods, frozen soldiers, and fucking undead ninja assassins.

b

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